in present pain.

I hate it when little things bother me a lot. Make me really angry or sad deep inside for no apparent reason. And then all the other things that I have held inside of me for a while all start to well up and I feel like I need to explode. Yell really loud or cry really hard. Sometimes I am glad for these times though. To know that my heart isn't so hard that I can't feel things and hurt. Because sometimes I can go for a long time without feeling anything. And I forget what it is like. But why can't I feel without the pain?