forcing me to remember that it wasn't just a dream...

Tonight I started writing a letter to some of the people I worked with in Malawi. (Wow! I have been back home for three months.) And then I have to think of what to say to these people. My life has kind of moved on. And there life probably hasn't. And how do you tell them that you kind of think of your time spent with them as a dream... a far off happening of the past. That you don't pray for them. Obviously you don't tell them that. You tell them how much you are thankful for them and that you wish you could see them again. This is hard. It's a good thing they won't know that I have procrastinated doing this until about four days before I have to give the letters to Manuel to take back to Malawi. That I will probably keep procrastinating until the last possible moment. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a jerk. But I also can't help that they are so far away in so many different ways. Or is that just an excuse for the lack of love in my heart and absence of thought in my mind?

maybe

Lately I have been wishing that I could express myself with words better. And I have been wondering if that would help me think effectively. Or maybe the problem is that I do not think effectively and that is why I cannot express myself.

antonym: encouraged

dis·cour·aged dis·cour·age, dis·cour·ag·ing, dis·cour·ag·es 1. To be deprived of confidence, hope, or spirit. 2. To be hampered by discouragement; detered. 3. To be prevented by the expression of disapproval or raised objections.

deterred, daunted, dashed, dismayed, pessimistic, dispirited, downcast, disheartened, crestfalled.

Synonyms: discourage, dishearten, dispirit
These verbs mean to make less hopeful or enthusiastic.

"consider Him... lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls."

-Heb. 12

:)

i think i was having too much fun.

some days i just want to go home.

uh-huh

"y...y...e...e...l...l...y-e-ll...o...w...ow...y-ell-o-w... YELLOW!!! I knew it! I knew the whole time that it was yellow!!!"