THINK... don't shrink

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

-second timothy one

a war within my members

a trap...

sometimes feeling sorry for myself is so attractive...

and i hate how hypothetical my trust is.

Am I prepared for rain and/or is my mask still fixed firmly in place?

Sometimes rediscovering old music/songs is like rediscovering old friends and realizing why you liked them so much. You realize why you identified yourself with them and remember the good and bad times you had with them.

Yes, I still am kind of sick of Casting Crowns but now I remember the reason I listened to it so many times that I got sick of it.

Stain Glass Masquerade-

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in Church today feeling so small,
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover that I don't belong

So I tuck it all away
Like everything is okay
If I make them all believe it
Maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin
I play the part again
So everyone will see me
The way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles that hide our pain
But if the invitations open
To ever heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stain glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there?
Are there any hands to raise?
Am I the only whose traded
An alter for a stage?
The performance is convincing
We know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Do we really fall apart.

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
You imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Or would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay?

Voice of Truth- Makes me think of faith and the movie Facing the Giants and the power of prayer. It reminds me of something someone says on that movie about prayer. That some farmers pray for rain and other farmers pray for rain and then go prepare their fields for it. When we pray, we have to believe that God hears us and prepare for His answer. And as I was listening to this song and thinking those things I realized that I had opened my Bible to Matthew 21:21,22. "So Jesus answered and said to them, 'Assuredly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to this fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain 'Be removed and cast into the sea' it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."

today i fell to earth again, again.

all i can say is...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
and i think i need to pray a lot
and i can't do it on my own... i know because i keep trying
and falling
and failing

did you see me falling down...

"Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
for the LORD upholds him with His hand."
Psalm 37:23,24

"I waited patiently for the LORD;
and He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit out of the miry clay,
and set my feet upon a rock and established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth-
Praise to our GOD;
many will see it and fear,
and will trust in the LORD.
Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust,
and does not respect the proud,
nor such as turn aside to lies.
Many, O LORD my GOD ,
are Your wonderful works which YOU have done;
and Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to YOU in order;
if I would declare and speak of them,
they would be more than could be numbered."
Psalm 40:1-5

"I would have lost heart,
unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living."

WAIT on the LORD
BE of good COURAGE
and HE shall STRENGTHEN your HEART
WAIT i say on the LORD

Psalm 27:13,14

today i fell to earth again, again,
i guess i failed You,
i guess i cannot win

"Have YOU not kept my feet from falling,
That I may walk before GOD
in the light of the living?"
Psalm 56:13